Silly Side
by BeWhoYouAre99
Summary: Everyone has a silly side, right? Well, tough warrior Bellatrix Lestrange does! Bellatrix Point of View. Funny-fic.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**** This fan fiction is supposed to be a funny little story from everyone's favourite female Death Eater: Bellatrix Lestrange's point of view. **

**By writing this, I do not mean to insult dangerous Madame Lestrange, but to just share her funnier or perhaps girlier side with everyone. This one shot is setted during Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, when the Ministry was not willing to believe that Voldemort is back.**

**And please DO NOT forget to ****REVIEW!**

Sigh. Life is so unbearably boring nowadays. All those blithering Ministry of Magic idiots still have not realised that the Dark Lord has returned.

I am really happy that he's back. It's about time somebody showed those Muggles and Mud-bloods who is boss. And that would be us, Witches and Wizards. But I have to sadly say that the Dark Lord is acting like a sissy. And no, this is not a nickname for my bossy sister, Narcissa.

For him, it's all about 'Find me the Prophecy',or 'I have to destroy Harry Potter'. Geez. He never has time to compliment me. When was the last time he praised me infront of all the other Death Eaters? All I can say is that, it's been a VERY long time. I do like the Dark Lord a lot though. He's cool even though he does not have a nose. (I always wonder where it went. I have a feeling tha something probably ate it!)

Lord Voldemort has that 'I'm-the-evilest-wizard-in-the-world-and-I-am-going-to-kill-Harry-Potter' thing going. Which is completely understandable. After all, it is a matter of dignity for him. He is the Dark Lord, after all.

Basically, he is sitiing in my brother-in-law's mansion, ordering the little House Elves to massage his feet. Not that there is anything wrong with getting a massage every now and then, but for the love of Salazaar Slytherin, he is still the effing DARK LORD!

Everybody knows how close he is with me and how much I admire him. Actually, it's more than simple admiration, it's absolute devotion. Stalker Style! But there is nothing that I can do, because Rodolpuhus Lestrange, my stupid and inferior husband is still around.

It's all my Mother's fault for arranging my marriage . But it was necessary for me to marry a Pureblood. ( As if I would EVER even agree to marring anything below that blood status!)

Rodolphus always acts like a pathetic little baby that it gets soo embarassing! I am the tough warrior Bellatrix Lestrange. I have never hesitated or felt remorse in killing someone. While he, Rodolphus cried like a pathetic little infant the day he got his Dark Mark.

Narcissa almost fainted when she found out that I am in love with the Dark Lord. She yelled at me for hours. And once when my sister starts shouting, she never stops! She shrieked in a very un-ladylike manner, actually like a completely mad woman, saying,'BELLATRIX BLACK LESTRANGE, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR BLOODY MIND? WHAT IN THE NAME OF SLYTHERIN ARE YOU THINKING?'

And I ran.

Yes, I , Bellatrix the Brave Warrior ran for her life. (Cissa gets VERY scary when she is angry and so do I. But at that moment, I did not want to be responsible for killing my own sister!)

Lat week, my dearest nephew Draco asked me what I want for Christmas, I absentmindedly told him that I want Harry Potter's head on a Christmas platter, a divorce from Rodulphus, a weak Muggle to torture and a dinner date with the Dark Lord at one of the Wizarding world's most expensive restaurants.

Draco stared at me and then replied,'Err…..Aunt Bellatrix, I think that it would be best if I just get you a….Well, never mind! I will have to ask Mother!' Then he rushed out of the room acting as if someone had set his robes on fire.

Poor boy. He will not survive as Death Eater for a long time if he continues to behave like a Hufflepuff. Oh well, I suppose Narcissa and Lucius will have to learn how to deal with that boy some way or the other. Perhaps they ought to lock him up in the dungeon at Malfoy Manor.

And speaking of dungeons, I was thinking of asking Narcissa if she could help me re-decorate the torture chamber in her house. (Technically, I am also living there for the time being, so I have the rights to make a few changes, don't I?)

I just realised that I think a lot. By 'a lot', I mean endless hours and hours of lonely thinking. And I get distracted too easily. I know what you are thinking at this point,'She is bad-ass Bellatrix. She is supposed to be focused at all times'…ooh, is that a Hungarian Horntail, chasing Lucius in the garden?

I have something very important to say to all of you. If one more Seer predicates that I am going to meet my end at the hands of the Weasley mother hen: Molly Weasley, the number of Seers in this world will suddenly and dangerously decrease. Stupid Seers. How the hell can that happen?

Which brings me back to my point, Prophecies are totally un-real and somebody really needs to explain that to the Dark Lord. Because he just does not understand.

I have to go now. The Dark Lord is back from his manicure and pedicure session in China. So I want to go see what colour nail-polish has he applied this time. I hope it is Maroon or perhaps Green.

But before attending to the Dark Lord, I have to go check whether Draco's pet Hungarian Horntail has eaten Lucius or not. I have the feeling that Narcissa will not be happy that I have not saved her husband from a very painful death.

And besides that, I have invited a few Muggles over to play with. They do not know that I am a witch and think that they are coming over for a tea-party. But they are so naïve! This evening's agenda only involves one word: CRUCIO!

Ha ha ha ha!

So it is time for me to finally leaving. The Dark Lord has shouted himself hoarse by calling my name so many times. This is the most faithful and evil Death Eater: Bellatrix Lestrange signing out for now.

Maybe I shall stop by later for a small chat, whenever the Dark Lord is busy!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**** I hope you enjoyed this story! Please ****REVIEW ****and tell me what you think about it!**

**And if you want, you can also read another one-shot I wrote called 'Severus Snape's Story'.**

**Thank you for reading this and I really want to hear what you think of it, so for the love of all things related to Harry Potter, leave a REVIEW! **


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